Mothers’ day special: Take care of a mum (to be)

Maite Ullah/ May 14, 2017/ English/ 1 comments

When I was a kid, I frankly had no idea what all the fuss about mothers’ day was about. Suddenly once a year, you’re supposed to go out and buy flowers for one of your parents – even though I secretly preferred my dad much of my childhood anyways – and then you have to thank her and write cheesy cards and act even nicer than normal, help with the dishes, clean the bathroom or whatever… even though I thought I was being fairly nice most oft he year. All the attention to mothers (only) seemed just weird and inappropriate to me, especially as a teenager.

When I became a mum, though, a few years ago just a couple of weeks before mothers’ day, I suddenly had a different feeling about these things. After going through nine (sometimes pretty mediocre) months of pregnancy and giving birth to another human being and trying then to get back on my feet again with a completely different lifestyle than before, I felt like mums do, after all, deserve to be treated and not just once a year, but as much as possible. Becoming and being a mum turned my life around – yes, in a good way, mostly, but it was also one of the most challenging and exhausting experiences in my life so far and in the first few days, weeks and months, I often found myself wondering on how to keep me and the baby alive and manage to leave the house looking normal… (I gave up on the household looking normal after a few days of baby madness :))

So that first year, I bought my mum a huuuuuge bouquet and a reaaaaallly cute loving card saying I was only starting to grasp what being a mum meant and that I was very grateful for everything she had done in her life for me (very cheesy, I know). And I decided that mums deserve to be pampered from time to time.

You know when the baby arrived, we were basically showered with gifts. Every day, new parcels and letters arrived with toys and cards and tiny clothes, which was lovely and made us feel very loved as a family. I also had some friends/neighbours/relatives bring me flowers, which was great (the flat had never looked so beautiful and it never has ever since). But sometimes I found myself hungry and exhausted in the evening after saying goodbye to all the baby-visitors and putting the kid to sleep with no energy left to prepare a decent meal for me. So at times, I just went to bed with an empty stomach instead hoping to catch up on some zzzz’s, while my hubby was on business trips. That worked out nicely for losing some of the babyfat, but didn’t do me much good otherwise. I usually woke up more exhausted than I had gone to sleep and I did catch quite a bad couple of illnesses, which I think were based on the lack of sleep and malnutrition.

When I heard about the Supermamas in one of my international mothers’ facebook groups, I immediately loved the idea and signed up as one of their first members. What a genius concept and yet it is so simple. Mums and mums to be can sign up as Helping Mamas and BubbleMamas and either pamper a new mum (or mum to be) or be pampered: Cooking healthy meals and bringing them to the new mum’s home in the neighbourhood with a bit of time on their hand to chat if needed/wanted/appreciated. This was exactly what I had been missing in these first weeks and I think it would have done me much good to have someone come over, not only for „baby-tourism“, but to take some of the weight off my shoulders and possibly also provide some advice on my questions (since they’re all mothers as well). I was lucky enough to meet a few awesome mums in the neighbourhood through my birth preparation class, who have helped me out quite a lot this first year (as much as they could being in the same position as I). But still I think I would have enjoyed other mothers’ company and care in these first weeks and months, not to mention the many mums who might not have had the great birth preparation class network we had.

Since I signed up as a Helping Mama last year I have taken care of a few mums through the Supermamas’ network (whenever I could make it) and hopefully made their postpartum life a little better. And I would encourage anyone to do the same!!!

Mums, do check out the Supermamas’ Homepage and Blog and sign up just in case (you don’t have to do it every other week, just once or twice might make a huge difference to someone and they only match you with mums who live close by, so…)

And everyone else: think about the (new) mothers (or mothers to be) in your life and what they do and what you could do to support them. It doesn’t have to be a home-cooked meal: you can order in or take her out (don’t forget to organize the babysitter well in advance) or write a card or a song or just show her your appreciation of her work as a mum in whatever way works for her. I’m sure she’ll appreciate it!